I found my voice today

For 15 years I’ve had a scraggly voice.  Not all the time, but most of the time.  It started when I was teaching aerobics back before microphones.  This was when we wore thong leotards (good lord!), with micro tight leggings or shorts underneath.  But it was after the leg warmer era.

I used to have to YELL my cues over the music to the back row.  After years of this I strained my vocal chords beyond repair.  If singing was important to me perhaps I would have done something about it.  But I’ve never been known for my vocal prowress so I just went on with my life figuring I was destined to a life of throat clearing, and otherwise sounding…

Like my mom…
(who’s awesome by the way, but even she would agree her voice gets scraggly too.)

I’ve wondered too about the hidden meaning behind my scraggly voice.  I’ve done a ton of energy work around it, had intuitive readings, etc.  Maybe my vocal chords aren’t damaged at all.  Or maybe they are but there’s a bigger meaning behind it.  Is it a struggle between my head and my heart?  Am I not “speaking my truth”.  Maybe I’m lying; to myself, to others, not intentionally, more with my being.  What IS going on?

I found my voice today and I think it has to do with what I’m writing here.  Not editing who I am, no skirting the issues, just putting it out there.

It’s my place to let it all hang out.

And my voice was clear as a bell today.