Monday? Oh, I thought you said “Mun-dane!”

After taking the kids to the dentist but before I meet my dad for lunch I’ve decided to pay the bills.  Normally I wouldn’t blog about this mundane (and usually stressful task) but I’ve decided to anyway.  Why?  Because no one talks about money.  Or at least they don’t talk about money the way I do.

They talk about saving money.

They talk about investing money.

They talk about making money.

Me???  I talk about “doing” money.  For some reason money seems really complicated and stressful to me.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I’ve made it this way.  Maybe I’m dumb.  Maybe we’re poorer than we think we are.

Yet I know none of this is true.  In reality money is simple.  Money in.  Money out.  Money growing, money diminishing.  Simple, simple, simple.

It has nothing to do with who I am.  So let’s get to it.

First, calming tea.

Mmmmm...calming tea

The supplies.

What I need to pay the bills

Oh, and the bills.  Oops, almost forgot about those.

The stack of neglected bills

Can’t forget the calming and supportive music.

I know what makes me shudder and squirm is that I don’t like giving our/my money away to non-people.  Even though I’ve already spent it.  Even though I get comfort, benefit, and joy from what it gives me.  Actually giving it away?  It triggers my fear response and my distrust of “big business”, and my insecurity that more will come.

I don’t wanna be like that!  I don’t wanna be like this!  Where are my feelings of gratitude?  Where is my trust?  Where is my generosity??

Deeeeeeeeeep Breath!

And…. DONE!My pretty neat desk!