Jeans.

Photo Credit: Jose Manuelerre via Flickr

I should really go get another pair of jeans.  These ones are getting tight.  No, scratch that, the ‘getting’ has already happened.  These jeans ARE tight.  As in present-tense.

Damn.

It.

I’m coming to terms with my new body.  It’s a little bigger.  A little thicker.  A little rounder.

I kinda like it.  I’m gentler with it.  I respect it more.  I appreciate it more.

Except for the middle part.  I don’t like the way it looks when I sit down.  But when I stand up it’s fine, except when I turn sideways in the mirror.  But that’s a pretty easy position to avoid.

No, this body feels right, settled.  I feel a sense of surrender and peace in this new body of mine.

This is not the way I was raised.  It’s not the way society expects me to feel.  It’s not the way I expected to feel.

I expected to feel panicked, depressed, uncomfortable.  This is how I’ve been conditioned to respond.

But I don’t.  I’m actually fine with it.

This surprises me.