Sitting and Waiting

Photo Courtesy: Faungg via Flckr

I sit and wait, wait and sit hoping that one of these days inspiration will hit.  I’m not in the doldrums.  But I can’t say I’m feeling inspired either.  You know that feeling of wanting to do something but not having the gumption to start?  That’s what it’s like but with a tinge of grouchiness.

Not bite-your-head-off-you-just-looked-at-me-wrong grouchy.  That would be too obvious and because of this easier to shift.  No this set of feelings shows up as having no desire to actually do anything interesting.

I plan, I shop, I cook, I work, I do, I drive.

None of this has that sparkle the sparkle it usually does.  I’m not depressed.  I know what that’s like.  I’m just in a funk.  And it’s pissing me off that it’s happening during summer.

Maybe because this has been the busiest summer I’ve had in years.  It’s also been the most stressful with projects, kid commitments to keep track of, a husband who hasn’t really been around much, and kids who need me.  Or I wish needed me, which makes me feel even grouchier when I think about it.

I’m missing my alone time.  I’m missing my fun-lazy-kid time too.

I miss myself.

I think a lot of people who find themselves in this type of situation would try to fix it.  Or analyze it.  Or fake it.

Or something.

I’m just gonna wait it out because I know it will pass.

But I wish it would hurry up.